Ahead of 'I exist', we spoke with Charlie Marshall about their inspiration for the show, the highs, lows and searching for answers in an answerless world.
What inspired you to create this show? Why this story?
The whole show comes from my own personal experience from dealing with the loss of my mother, during the covid pandemic, whilst learning about existentialism for my final MA project. The project itself was a short film, which basically turned into a video confessional, where I would talk about how scary the philosophy was, especially when you’re faced with the idea of death and meaning in the world. Through creating the short film I was able to relate the philosophy with my life and it ended up being a therapeutic experience for me. I knew that after the film was done I wanted to continue with the idea - so I made it into a play!
What do audiences have to look forward to?
This show is full of comedic moments and adlibs. Definitely lots of moments of Rose breaking down on stage, moments of severe confusion and bursts of energy as she runs around, attempting to understand a complex philosophy, whilst being a drama student. As well as this, as she begins her descent into madness, the audience can revel in the moments of her mania as she begins to hallucinate that her cuddly toys are speaking to her.
Have there been any obstacles in the creation?
As the play comes from a place of direct truth, the obstacles in the way have been myself and my brain at times. This experience that I speak about happened a few years ago now, but as you can imagine, through rehearsals this brought back a lot of trauma. However, through the immense support from Cerys and Soeren, as friends and colleagues, I was able to push through it and come back stronger.
What inspired you to create this show? Why this story?
The whole show comes from my own personal experience from dealing with the loss of my mother, during the covid pandemic, whilst learning about existentialism for my final MA project. The project itself was a short film, which basically turned into a video confessional, where I would talk about how scary the philosophy was, especially when you’re faced with the idea of death and meaning in the world. Through creating the short film I was able to relate the philosophy with my life and it ended up being a therapeutic experience for me. I knew that after the film was done I wanted to continue with the idea - so I made it into a play!
What do audiences have to look forward to?
This show is full of comedic moments and adlibs. Definitely lots of moments of Rose breaking down on stage, moments of severe confusion and bursts of energy as she runs around, attempting to understand a complex philosophy, whilst being a drama student. As well as this, as she begins her descent into madness, the audience can revel in the moments of her mania as she begins to hallucinate that her cuddly toys are speaking to her.
Have there been any obstacles in the creation?
As the play comes from a place of direct truth, the obstacles in the way have been myself and my brain at times. This experience that I speak about happened a few years ago now, but as you can imagine, through rehearsals this brought back a lot of trauma. However, through the immense support from Cerys and Soeren, as friends and colleagues, I was able to push through it and come back stronger.
Who are the collaborators on this production?
Soeren, my wonderful director and Cerys, my amazing producer! They also have well-deserved story credits, as they both helped massively in changing the script to add more layers and depth to the character.
Both of them have really been my emotional and physical support, inspiring me to keep pushing even in times where I didn’t believe in myself. They are brilliant friends to me and I love them both very much - especially for their patience as we worked on this project for almost 2 years!
Who should see this show & why?
Anyone who has at one point questioned the meaning of their own existence. At first glance, existentialism can be quite terrifying, as I definitely found it. There seems to be a lot of negative connotations for existentialism, but I found hope in it, in terms of our freedom to choose our own meaning in life. This revelation not only helped me through my grief, but also helped me understand my depression and how I can live with it. Through ‘i exist’ I hope it inspires people to read more into the philosophy and find comfort in it.
What attracted you to stage this production at Bread & Roses?
Through my years at university I had often heard about Bread & Roses from my colleagues and it was always mentioned as a safe space for artists to try out new work, in hopes to help them in their creative careers. What's not to love about a place that supports new emerging artists?
What have been the highlights of the process?
As a writer, I really found our early sessions so much fun when we would just sit around a table and come up with ideas. We basically covered my whole kitchen wall in notes with random ideas for the blocking, so many spider-webs and random lists - just a gigantic explosion of creativity. And then of course, actually trying them out and seeing them work well was a massive boost of happiness.
What do you think the future of british fringe theatre looks like and how does I exist fit into it?
I think that the British fringe never fails to spark inspiration by all of its whimsy and display of incredible talent, so I think the future will just be a continuation of this and more. With the last few years we’ve all had, including this terrible year, as hard as it's been, this is usually when the best work gets made. There really is nothing better than channeling all of the anger and pain into amazing work.
I believe ‘i exist’ comes at a great time for all of this. The play talks about how rubbish the world can be and from that, how difficult it is to try and find meaning when we are faced with so much hardship in our everyday lives. Even though the play doesn’t answer everything, I believe it provides an interesting perspective on how we continue and how we are rebelling against adversity by just existing and sharing our story.
What's next for you/the show?
I don’t think I’m ready to part ways with ‘i exist’ just yet, so after this run we will go back with feedback to continue to work on it, to hopefully have a longer run towards the end of 2024. And from then, hopefully entering into Fringe the following year.
Other than that, I will continue to work closely with my friends as my brain is a bottomless pit of silly ideas that are dying to be explored. Cerys, my producer, is also the founder of In a Pickle Productions, so I hope to work closely with her on more exciting projects!
I exist runs 4th & 5th May limited run, tickets available here: https://app.lineupnow.com/event/i-exist
Soeren, my wonderful director and Cerys, my amazing producer! They also have well-deserved story credits, as they both helped massively in changing the script to add more layers and depth to the character.
Both of them have really been my emotional and physical support, inspiring me to keep pushing even in times where I didn’t believe in myself. They are brilliant friends to me and I love them both very much - especially for their patience as we worked on this project for almost 2 years!
Who should see this show & why?
Anyone who has at one point questioned the meaning of their own existence. At first glance, existentialism can be quite terrifying, as I definitely found it. There seems to be a lot of negative connotations for existentialism, but I found hope in it, in terms of our freedom to choose our own meaning in life. This revelation not only helped me through my grief, but also helped me understand my depression and how I can live with it. Through ‘i exist’ I hope it inspires people to read more into the philosophy and find comfort in it.
What attracted you to stage this production at Bread & Roses?
Through my years at university I had often heard about Bread & Roses from my colleagues and it was always mentioned as a safe space for artists to try out new work, in hopes to help them in their creative careers. What's not to love about a place that supports new emerging artists?
What have been the highlights of the process?
As a writer, I really found our early sessions so much fun when we would just sit around a table and come up with ideas. We basically covered my whole kitchen wall in notes with random ideas for the blocking, so many spider-webs and random lists - just a gigantic explosion of creativity. And then of course, actually trying them out and seeing them work well was a massive boost of happiness.
What do you think the future of british fringe theatre looks like and how does I exist fit into it?
I think that the British fringe never fails to spark inspiration by all of its whimsy and display of incredible talent, so I think the future will just be a continuation of this and more. With the last few years we’ve all had, including this terrible year, as hard as it's been, this is usually when the best work gets made. There really is nothing better than channeling all of the anger and pain into amazing work.
I believe ‘i exist’ comes at a great time for all of this. The play talks about how rubbish the world can be and from that, how difficult it is to try and find meaning when we are faced with so much hardship in our everyday lives. Even though the play doesn’t answer everything, I believe it provides an interesting perspective on how we continue and how we are rebelling against adversity by just existing and sharing our story.
What's next for you/the show?
I don’t think I’m ready to part ways with ‘i exist’ just yet, so after this run we will go back with feedback to continue to work on it, to hopefully have a longer run towards the end of 2024. And from then, hopefully entering into Fringe the following year.
Other than that, I will continue to work closely with my friends as my brain is a bottomless pit of silly ideas that are dying to be explored. Cerys, my producer, is also the founder of In a Pickle Productions, so I hope to work closely with her on more exciting projects!
I exist runs 4th & 5th May limited run, tickets available here: https://app.lineupnow.com/event/i-exist
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