The Bread & Roses Theatre is thrilled to welcome Eleanor May Blackburn and her hilariously bold solo performance, Does My Fanny Look Big in This? A unique mix of stand-up, spoken word, and uncomfortable noises, Blackburn’s show dives into the often unspoken world of sex anxiety with unabashed honesty and humour. Join us for an inside look at how Eleanor transforms discomfort into dialogue, demystifies sexual insecurities, and maybe even answers a few questions we’ve all been too embarrassed to ask.
What inspired you to create "Does My Fanny Look Big in This?" and how did you come up with its unique concept?
I realised one day as I was doing a bit of googling (as we all do often) that sex anxiety was a real thing. I didn’t know it existed and especially not that so many people were experiencing it. I thought I’d make a show around that, easy right? Not so much. Then I was doing a spot of cover teaching at one of my many many jobs (that all creatives know all too well the struggle of). I was expected to teach sex ed to this class of students who probably weren’t going to have many more classes on the subject and were about to be failed by me without any proper teacher training or teaching degree. I didn’t want to let those children down in a similar way to how so many of us are let down in schools where we are made to put a condom on a banana and that’s pretty much the extent of it. I put the textbooks to one side, took a deep breath and thought ‘let them ask me what they want to know.’ Not that I am any kind of expert but maybe that would help, to show that adults have questions and insecurities and it gets easier but we’re always learning. And ask they did! And ask they do now, in the form of a book I put out before the show and in the Q&A after. Adults are just as curious as young people. So I set the play in a classroom with me letting the students ask me anything about sex, just as they did a few years ago in that real classroom. But there’s a twist (which you’ll have to watch the show to find out!)
What inspired you to create "Does My Fanny Look Big in This?" and how did you come up with its unique concept?
I realised one day as I was doing a bit of googling (as we all do often) that sex anxiety was a real thing. I didn’t know it existed and especially not that so many people were experiencing it. I thought I’d make a show around that, easy right? Not so much. Then I was doing a spot of cover teaching at one of my many many jobs (that all creatives know all too well the struggle of). I was expected to teach sex ed to this class of students who probably weren’t going to have many more classes on the subject and were about to be failed by me without any proper teacher training or teaching degree. I didn’t want to let those children down in a similar way to how so many of us are let down in schools where we are made to put a condom on a banana and that’s pretty much the extent of it. I put the textbooks to one side, took a deep breath and thought ‘let them ask me what they want to know.’ Not that I am any kind of expert but maybe that would help, to show that adults have questions and insecurities and it gets easier but we’re always learning. And ask they did! And ask they do now, in the form of a book I put out before the show and in the Q&A after. Adults are just as curious as young people. So I set the play in a classroom with me letting the students ask me anything about sex, just as they did a few years ago in that real classroom. But there’s a twist (which you’ll have to watch the show to find out!)
Why did you choose to centre the show around sex education, and what are the primary messages you want to convey to your audience?
Sex education is universal. Most of us will experience sex in our lifetime but we don’t talk about it. It’s taboo. That is insane to me. It’s all about asking the questions and sharing experiences and therefore to feel we are not alone. We might not always have the answers, but that’s OK! The asking is actually the important part. ‘Like children asking what is consent.’ Is a line near the end of the play. I think if we were to tackle this subject at a younger age it would eliminate a lot of the blame we place on ourselves related to our trauma and basically encourage much healthier sexual experiences in general.
How do you balance the use of humour with the serious subjects of sex education and sexual trauma?
As in my last show: Subdural Hematoma, my experience of a brain injury and stroke at 18 when I nearly died, I found that people respond very well to humour. People feel comfortable laughing and more often than not they are more likely to engage with sensitive, difficult topics if they have had a plentiful helping of comedy. I juxtapose comedy and trauma in the show, going quickly from the audiences laughter to a more serious topic without much warning. That being said I think content warnings are extremely important and if anyone was struggling with the themes I would absolutely want them to step outside for a breather.
I have been told that, though there is a combination of trickier subjects alongside humour, audiences have felt extremely held in the space and I think the Q&A after is an opportunity for a sort of ‘cool down’ and for anyone to share anything that came up for them, if they want to. I find that tackling trauma with laughter is very powerful and I also love to make people question whether they can laugh at all (is it OK to laugh at Ellie having pooed herself yet AGAIN- the answer is: yes it is!!!) That is for Subdural Hematoma not Does My Fanny Look Big in This? Though as a ceoliac I’m definitely not judging.)
Sex education is universal. Most of us will experience sex in our lifetime but we don’t talk about it. It’s taboo. That is insane to me. It’s all about asking the questions and sharing experiences and therefore to feel we are not alone. We might not always have the answers, but that’s OK! The asking is actually the important part. ‘Like children asking what is consent.’ Is a line near the end of the play. I think if we were to tackle this subject at a younger age it would eliminate a lot of the blame we place on ourselves related to our trauma and basically encourage much healthier sexual experiences in general.
How do you balance the use of humour with the serious subjects of sex education and sexual trauma?
As in my last show: Subdural Hematoma, my experience of a brain injury and stroke at 18 when I nearly died, I found that people respond very well to humour. People feel comfortable laughing and more often than not they are more likely to engage with sensitive, difficult topics if they have had a plentiful helping of comedy. I juxtapose comedy and trauma in the show, going quickly from the audiences laughter to a more serious topic without much warning. That being said I think content warnings are extremely important and if anyone was struggling with the themes I would absolutely want them to step outside for a breather.
I have been told that, though there is a combination of trickier subjects alongside humour, audiences have felt extremely held in the space and I think the Q&A after is an opportunity for a sort of ‘cool down’ and for anyone to share anything that came up for them, if they want to. I find that tackling trauma with laughter is very powerful and I also love to make people question whether they can laugh at all (is it OK to laugh at Ellie having pooed herself yet AGAIN- the answer is: yes it is!!!) That is for Subdural Hematoma not Does My Fanny Look Big in This? Though as a ceoliac I’m definitely not judging.)
What happens after the show? Are there resources or discussions encouraged for audiences to continue exploring the topics covered?
I hold a post show Q&A where I read out some of the questions in the book that people have written over all the shows I have performed fanny at (that are anonymous of course) and then I encourage people to share anything that has come up from the topics or questions raised. There’s obviously giggling at the questions (which I think is really healthy, it helps to laugh!) but people have expressed how held they have felt in these spaces. These conversations have been so rich, often I enjoy them more than the show itself! I really want people to go home and continue these discussions with their friends and family and I have been assured that often they do.
What are some of the most interesting or surprising questions you've received from audiences, and how do you handle them?
interesting one’s:
Is urban dictionary bullshit or do people actually do that stuff?
Is ‘I love you’ OK?
Why do I like the idea of sex more than sex itself?
What is the politest way to tell a partner they smell?
How do I say no?
How do I tell my boyfriend I didn’t squirt I just pissed a bit during sex on MDMA?
I just love this one- Would you fuck Tom or Jerry (if they were human.) The p.s. is so important!!
I do my best to not comment or answer them but I do sometimes slip up and comment a tiny bit but as you can imagine there’s a lot of giggling and it breaks the ice for the space we’re about to share together. I feel very fortunate that people feel they can share their questions with me and I do my best to handle them with extreme care.
I hold a post show Q&A where I read out some of the questions in the book that people have written over all the shows I have performed fanny at (that are anonymous of course) and then I encourage people to share anything that has come up from the topics or questions raised. There’s obviously giggling at the questions (which I think is really healthy, it helps to laugh!) but people have expressed how held they have felt in these spaces. These conversations have been so rich, often I enjoy them more than the show itself! I really want people to go home and continue these discussions with their friends and family and I have been assured that often they do.
What are some of the most interesting or surprising questions you've received from audiences, and how do you handle them?
interesting one’s:
Is urban dictionary bullshit or do people actually do that stuff?
Is ‘I love you’ OK?
Why do I like the idea of sex more than sex itself?
What is the politest way to tell a partner they smell?
How do I say no?
How do I tell my boyfriend I didn’t squirt I just pissed a bit during sex on MDMA?
I just love this one- Would you fuck Tom or Jerry (if they were human.) The p.s. is so important!!
I do my best to not comment or answer them but I do sometimes slip up and comment a tiny bit but as you can imagine there’s a lot of giggling and it breaks the ice for the space we’re about to share together. I feel very fortunate that people feel they can share their questions with me and I do my best to handle them with extreme care.
What has been the most challenging part of bringing this show to life, and how did you overcome those challenges?
Navigating sex education when I am not an expert and definitely not a doctor. I thought at first that I had a responsibility to be knowledgeable about it all but I think there lies the point. None of us know as much as we should (probably) because we were failed by the people who taught us sex ed who in turn were failed by the people that taught them and so on and so forth. I don’t have to be an expert to know there’s a problem there and that we need to talk about it. I obviously did my research but I’m a real person facing the same issues and questions and (sex) anxieties as the audience. I make a point of not answering any of the questions that I share in the Q&A because the aim is not to create answers (a lot of the time), the aim is to normalise asking the questions.
Can you share a particularly memorable moment or experience from performing the show?
I had a woman come to the show who works as a clinician at a sexual health centre and she said the thoughts I voice at the end of the play in my ‘encounter’ are exactly the same as the women’s anxieties who she sees every day time and time again. Also, the amount of women (and men but mostly women) who told me afterwards that they didn’t realise anyone else thought like that was extremely rewarding. To know that I was performing a piece of work that obviously mattered because it resonated with so many people. It’s joyous performing in a show that I’m so passionate about and the audience interaction makes it for me because what’s not to love about everyone in the room screaming ‘willy’. That’s always my favourite.
What is the one key message or lesson you hope audiences take away from "Does My Fanny Look Big in This?"?
Ask those questions. AND giggle. AND what happened to you isn’t your fault. (I know that’s 3 but they are all VERY important OK!)
You can catch Does My Fanny Look Big in This? 23rd - 25th January 2025 at The Bread and Roses Theatre: https://app.lineupnow.com/event/does-my-fanny-look-big-in-this-1
Navigating sex education when I am not an expert and definitely not a doctor. I thought at first that I had a responsibility to be knowledgeable about it all but I think there lies the point. None of us know as much as we should (probably) because we were failed by the people who taught us sex ed who in turn were failed by the people that taught them and so on and so forth. I don’t have to be an expert to know there’s a problem there and that we need to talk about it. I obviously did my research but I’m a real person facing the same issues and questions and (sex) anxieties as the audience. I make a point of not answering any of the questions that I share in the Q&A because the aim is not to create answers (a lot of the time), the aim is to normalise asking the questions.
Can you share a particularly memorable moment or experience from performing the show?
I had a woman come to the show who works as a clinician at a sexual health centre and she said the thoughts I voice at the end of the play in my ‘encounter’ are exactly the same as the women’s anxieties who she sees every day time and time again. Also, the amount of women (and men but mostly women) who told me afterwards that they didn’t realise anyone else thought like that was extremely rewarding. To know that I was performing a piece of work that obviously mattered because it resonated with so many people. It’s joyous performing in a show that I’m so passionate about and the audience interaction makes it for me because what’s not to love about everyone in the room screaming ‘willy’. That’s always my favourite.
What is the one key message or lesson you hope audiences take away from "Does My Fanny Look Big in This?"?
Ask those questions. AND giggle. AND what happened to you isn’t your fault. (I know that’s 3 but they are all VERY important OK!)
You can catch Does My Fanny Look Big in This? 23rd - 25th January 2025 at The Bread and Roses Theatre: https://app.lineupnow.com/event/does-my-fanny-look-big-in-this-1
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